Thursday, March 24, 2011

Everything Is Going To Be Alright.

When we left our home of four years I felt uneasy.  It was the community that saw us through Jenna’s diabetes onset and diagnosis - the town that supported us and comforted us during a dark time in our lives.  The doctors, nurses, pharmacists and support staff -  they knew us.  They knew our little girls.  They knew Jenna.  To leave that was scary and upsetting.   Diabetes isn’t something that can be left unattended for any length of time at all.  It requires constant attention and a steady stream of medical accoutrements.  Consequently, people with this disease quickly find themselves on a first-name basis with their friendly neighbourhood pharmacy staff.  It’s like our home away from home.

Today we spoke with a pharmacist at the pharmacy we will be using in our new community to obtain all the supplies Jenna requires for her diabetes management.  He had us feeling comfortable, taken care of and at home within the first five seconds of our interaction with him.   As he input Jenna’s information into his computer data base he told us there were lots of insulin pumpers in the area and he likely stocked everything we would require.   My eyes widened.  “Really?  Lots?!”

“Oh sure. players...lots of people.” He looked up from his computer and smiled.   I felt like I was being hugged by our new community.  

But it wasn’t just the idea of there being others in our new town with type 1 diabetes - like Jenna - who pumped insulin - like Jenna - that had me wide-eyed.  It was also the fact that this pharmacy had an ample supply of everything we would need at any given moment.

“So...if I wanted a box of infusion sets right could hook me up?” I asked trying to sound poised and hide my giddiness.


I peaked around the counter in disbelief when he disappeared behind the shelves to retrieve a box of infusion sets to show me.  Sure enough, there on the shelves were stacks of boxes of infusion sets, cartridges and every type of meter you can imagine.  The multi-clix we love so dearly were also stocked in abundance in tidy little boxy towers, lined up just as neat as you please.  

I stood there like a kid in a toy store, my mouth hanging open.  

“Wow.  That’s...that’s just really awesome.”  At this point I’d given up trying to sound cool and together.  I think I may have even giggled this ridiculous, little girl giggle.  I was treading on uncharted territory.  I have never dealt with a pharmacy that not only had  “lots” of other type 1 diabetic insulin pumpers for customers but had an impressive reserve of supplies at the ready, for the asking.   

I left that pharmacy with a smile on my face and a spring in my step.  I felt safe.  My little girl will be taken care of here.  

Everything is going to be alright.  

Monday, March 7, 2011

You Can’t Go Home

It should be noted that the D word is not mentioned once in this post.  But we all know that even though it isn’t mentioned, it is always present - stealing sleep, demanding attention and consideration, and sapping energy.

*   *   *

We have spent the past nine weeks of our lives on an incredible adventure.  We have seen amazing sights and pushed the limits of our comfort zone.  I, personally, have grown and gained invaluable insight and perspective into certain aspects of my life that have been a bit of a confusing puzzle for many years. 

I’ve been amazed at the courage my two little girls possess.  They are incredible.  Their intelligence and maturity has me in awe.  They are kind-hearted, compassionate, polite, capable little people.  I am so proud of them.

I’ve learned that it’s true; you really can’t go home.  And the longer a person has been away from home, the more that proves to be true.  I’ve realized that I need to heed my inner voice, especially when it is screaming at me.  I’ve learned that I can let go of the past and live fully in the present.  It’s okay to do what I know to be right for myself and my family, unapologetically and in spite of others disagreeing.

I’ve discovered that the word “family” means different things to different people and it can be surprising, sometimes, to discover just who comprises your family.

If you’ve ever wondered if doing without and simplifying life can actually bring about personal growth and a heightened awareness of what is really important, I can say, undeniably, it does.  The old adage - you don’t appreciate what you have until it’s gone - is accurate but incomplete.  It should end with - but you learn to appreciate what’s left so much more.

This has strengthened my little family, and we were a pretty cohesive unit to begin with.  We are quite a team.

We are going back to the mountains - my husband, two little girls and I - because that is home.  It’s where I left my heart nine weeks ago.

And it’s there still, awaiting my return.

“Come home, Sherry!  I’ve missed you!"