Diabetes Christmas Conundrums

How is it that I can measure, weigh and cook a meal from scratch and calculate with Pythagorean  precision the carbs in Jenna’s portion and still have her blood sugar go rogue;  yet we can go out to a fine dining establishment, eat a fancy meal, totally guess at carb counts, administer multiple boluses for food eaten in increments, and somehow have pristine, single digit blood sugar readings all night long thereafter?  I’m talking, unbelievable numbers.  Devine intervention numbers!  Holy crap she’s cured numbers!

We went out for Christmas dinner for the first time ever.  It was magical to tour the Butchart Gardens before hand then eat a four course Christmas feast with all the trimmings.  I don’t know how I can explain the spot on blood sugars Jenna had afterward.  Perhaps it was a perfect combination of activity - walking (running) through the gardens - along with fantastic carb counting guess work.  Whatever it was, it worked.  Somehow it just  worked.

And while we are on the topic of diabetes conundrums, here’s another puzzler:  Why does Jenna’s pump battery decide to end its three month long shift in the wee hours on a Christmas morn, after a rare night of excellent blood sugars led me to the false assumption that my midnight check would be the last time I would have to get up until morning?  I was hoping for a 7am wake up time, but the diabetes gods had other plans and were conspiring against me and my constant quest for more sleep.

Butchart Gardens at Christmas time is pure magic.

The girls were nestled all snug in their beds by 8pm, Christmas Eve.  They had no trouble falling asleep after stories were read to them.  Last year, Jazmine was up sometime between 1 and 2am, jacked up on Christmas hype.  I had to talk her down and settle her back to bed explaining that it was still time for sleeping. This year was no different, except for the time.  She was kind enough to wait until 3:30am before she entered our room excitedly announcing that Santa had visited.  For the second year in a row,  I got up to settle her back to bed then crawled back into my own still warm covers.

About 20 minutes later, I heard Jenna’s bedroom door slowly crrreeeaaak open.  Now she was awake and curious to see if Santa had visited as well.

“Go back to bed.  It’s too early,” I stated firmly from my warm cocoon.  The sound of little feet retreating back to bed followed by silence prompted me to breath a sigh of relief.

A while later, perhaps a half hour or more, I had just drifted blissfully into that surreal state of semi-lucid limbo, the one where you still have auditory awareness but your subconscious is spinning its strange little yarn of weirdness...

...BEEP...BEEP.

In an instant I was yanked back into full consciousness.

“What was that?”

“Mmmfph---wzz wut?” groaned a groggy J who, having just been awakened from his long winter’s nap,  hadn’t yet managed to regain full control over his verbal abilities.

“I heard a beeping sound,” I replied as I glanced at my phone’s clock, making note of the time.  It was 4:30am.

J mumbled something about not hearing a thing as I whipped back the covers - again - to investigate.  Of course, my first stop was Jenna’s room, since the sound I heard eerily resembled the sound her pump makes after a bolus of insulin is administered.

As I entered her room, she raised her head off her pillow to look at me and I wondered if she was still awake from when she had gotten up not long before.

“Hi honey...I heard a beeping sound,” I began whispering my explanation as I approached her bed.

“Maybe Santa is here!  Maybe it was Rudolph’s nose blinking!” Jenna whispered back excitedly.

I giggled and gave her a kiss for being so darned adorable.  “No sweetheart.  Santa has already come and gone.  I think what I heard was your pump.”

I began searching amid the bedsheets and pajamas for her pump which resides at her waist .  When I finally retrieved it and pressed a button, the low battery warning text appeared on the display.

Lalaloopsie dolls were a big hit!

So a battery change was done, albeit clumsily, and a prime/rewind sequence performed.  Afterward,  I returned to Jenna’s bedside to reconnect her pump.  I found her sitting up in bed, all wide-eyed and  smiles.  I tried to explain that it was still too early to get up but I knew my efforts were in vain.  She agreed to stay in bed but her little clock radio that is always serenading her at low volume while she sleeps was softly cranking out familiar Christmas tunes.  She remained in bed but she didn’t sleep.  Instead she sang.

We were all up - the coffee was brewing, the tree lit and the camera poised, ready to capture the magic of Christmas morning - all before 5am.

But those stellar blood sugars?  They more than made up for the lack of sleep.

Tidings of Comfort and Joy

When I was a little girl, the wonder of Christmas wasn’t just about getting presents from a big, hairy fella in a red suit with a penchant for chimney crawling.  Oh sure that was pretty exciting, but it was also knowing that people all over the world were gathering with joy and good will in their hearts and enjoying their families, eating good food, and celebrating the idea of loving one another and caring for each other.  There is something about being a part of an event that so many people are sharing that I have always found to be a very powerful experience.

I think we humans forget about just how connected we are to one another.   We are all in this whole experience together.  We spend far too much time criticizing our differences and not enough time finding our common ground.  And our common ground is vast - far greater than our differences.

You don’t have to be a Christian, or religious to appreciate what this time of year represents.  As Clark Griswold states at the end of National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, “It means something different to everyone.”

To me, it’s about being thankful for our health and our blessings and being together with those we love, paying tribute to those we have lost while celebrating our children and the promise they hold of a brighter, more compassionate and enlightened future.

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas to each and every one of you.  May you feel loved and comforted this holiday season.

Finding The Calm Amid The Chaos

There are five days until Christmas and, given this year’s circumstances, I am impossibly calm, cool and collected.  I keep wondering what is wrong with me that I am so damn relaxed!  But I am.  It’s strange.

Here’s the situation:

We are moving.  And I don’t just mean moving across town.  This is a trans-continental move.  This is an EPIC move!  And it’s happening NOW.  Well, not right now, but in three short weeks we’ll be packing our every possession on a semi, then driving across this beautiful, albeit frozen country of ours and going back to my home town.  (We won’t be driving the semi - we’ll leave that to the professionals. We’ll be driving our Tundra pick-up - a very capable vehicle for what Mother Nature might have in store for us.)

The reasons for this move are varied, but it has a lot to do with the desire to be closer to my sister and her family.  It also has to do with the D.  But that is a separate post that I plan on writing very soon.

Right now, the issue is Christmas.  And packing.  And driving for days on end with two young children across a nation that is, at present, in the icy clutches of Old Man Winter.  And all the planning and preparation that these two ginormous events entail.

And...okay, YES.  There is the D to consider during all of this.  How can we not consider it?  It is never something that can be glossed over, even during the simplest of times.  I have prepared the lists of things to pack. I’ve ordered the Frio packs to keep cool the three vials of insulin I plan on packing, as insulin likes to be.  I’ve taken stock of our supplies and have on order all we will need to top up our reserves.  I’ve got the glucagon, which has recently become a more versatile and vital tool in the D toolbox as so many other D families have discovered. (For more info on glucagon mini-dosing, see this awesome post by Lorraine.)

We’ve been discussing the road trip and the need to go low carb with regards to snacking on the road.  We won’t be getting much in the way of exercise for several days straight (save for the odd pool time at any hotels we stay at that happen to have such facilities.)  This means that the temporary basal function will be called upon often to stave off any spikes.  But I want to further minimize the chance of fighting frequent highs which will only serve to make Jenna feel miserable and exhausted.  The drive alone will be enough of a physical and mental test as it is, without adding the insult of high blood sugar to it.  Doughnuts and muffins, while convenient and readily available, are really not the best choice (and, I dare say, that pertains to all of us.)  But I suspect we will all get tired of carrot and celery sticks pretty quickly.  So if anyone can recommend any low carb, low fat, low mess, car-friendly snacking ideas kindly leave me a comment.

So you can imagine what our household looks like these days.  Among the boxes and packing paper, we have a tree up, although it is a fake one.  Next year we will go back to a real tree.  But this year, we had to keep it simple and pull out the ol’ faker.  The stockings are hung by the chimney with...uh...well...lets just leave it at “they’re hung.”   The word “care” doesn’t apply when they are being taken down, tried on, played with, stuffed with toys from Christmases past and put back up in varying order, multiple times a day!  If they survive Jenna’s constant mauling due to her inability to leave all that jingles and sparkles alone, I will be astonished.

We even managed to sneak in a cookie baking session the other day, just prior to packing up my cookie sheets and mixing bowls.

Speaking of packing, J and I are on top of it.  We have been picking away at the task for weeks now and our garage is steadily filling with an ever growing mountain of packed boxes.

And in light of the packing chaos this year, we have made reservations to eat Christmas dinner out.  This will be a first for us.  I’m usually at home stuffing, then wrestling a turkey into a roaster and making those fancy cross slits in the bottom of each brussels sprout, the purpose of which continues to elude me.  On any given Christmas day I can be found ironing the fancy table cloth and its matching napkins just prior to placing them on the table which is always just prior to dinner being served.  Somehow, I always forget this detail until the very last minute.  But this year someone else is going to take care of these details. I whole-heartedly welcome this break from tradition, in light of all that is going on.  Next year I’m going to do Christmas up right.  The tree will be real.  The cookie baking will involve more than just one recipe.  And the Christmas dinner will be second to none.  But the best part about Christmas next year will be sharing it with my Mom, sister, brother-in-law, nieces and nephew for the first time in too many years.  It’s something I’ve been dreaming about for so long.

The next three weeks should prove to be unbelievably busy with a lot to consider, not the least of which is Jenna’s diabetes.  But through it all I have somehow become even more aware of how lucky we are and I am incredibly thankful.  This seemingly ill-timed move has had a strange, paradoxically calming effect on me.  I have a heightened awareness of what is really important.  We have amazing, supportive and loving family and friends, both here, on Canada’s west coast and back east in my home town.

And the four of us have each other (and our stash of diabetes supplies.)   I don’t need or want for anything more, for I know that wherever we (and the diabetes supplies) are, as long as we are together (with our big box of D-supplies and chilled insulin), that is where home is.

Special Sibs of D-Kids Day!

This post was going to be about my amazing seven year old daughter, Jazmine and how supportive she is of Jenna, her little sister with type 1 diabetes.  I was going to recount how she spotted the signs of hypoglycemia in Jenna and took it upon herself to check her blood sugar - not once but twice!  I was going to say how caring and sympathetic she is when Jenna is not feeling well.

But then during an exchange with a friend on Twitter I was reminded of an incredibly important aspect of being the sibling of a child with diabetes: they are just as much in need of support and understanding as their brothers and sisters with diabetes, particularly in the weeks and months following diagnosis.

Jazmine was only four when Jenna was diagnosed at the age of two.  That’s the same age as Jenna is now.  When Jenna came home after a four day stay in hospital Jazmine witnessed her sister having to endure finger sticks 6 to 8 times a day and insulin injections 3 to 4 times a day.   Not surprisingly, Jenna was fearful of each needle stick and would cry.  While I concentrated on helping Jenna endure these relentless physical trials, Jazmine was going through an emotional trial of her own.  It was frightening for her too.

Numerous times Jazmine would run into her room crying, unable to cope with her sister’s distress. I recall feeling so torn at times.  Jazmine would often have to go without my hugs and words of comfort for longer than I would have liked while I assisted Jenna.

On one occasion, when I was finally able to attend to Jazmine’s needs I explained to her that Jenna needed us to be brave to help her find her bravery.  I told Jazmine that she could help Jenna cope by offering her encouragement.  Jazmine needed to be involved.  She needed to be a part of it all in some capacity.  And really, Jenna needed her to be a part of it too.  I told Jazmine that she could be so helpful if she could find a way to cheer Jenna on.

And that’s just what my then four year old little girl did.  From that day on, Jazmine conquered her own fears and found her bravery to help her little sister find hers.  Jazmine found it in herself to stay by Jenna’s side when Jenna became fearful.  She offered comfort and reassurance and was always ready with praise when Jenna endured a frightening procedure.  Such a selfless act by a child so young is truly incredible.

My point is that it is too easy to overlook the needs of our non-diabetic children.  We get immersed in the daily management of diabetes, especially in the weeks after diagnosis.  We can forget that they too are scared and need support, education, involvement, encouragement, comfort...

It’s been said many times before but it’s worth repeating here: Diabetes affects the whole family, not just the pancreatically challenged.  Often the siblings are young children who need to be shown how they fit in to this whole diabetes business.  If we can include them, everyone benefits.

So in honour of Jazmine, we are going to do something we rarely do but always enjoy when we do it; we are going to the movies.  We are going to buy massive quantities of overpriced popcorn and watch the 3-D version of that new Disney animated movie - Tangled.

When I told Jazmine our plans for the day her eyes lit up and her jaw dropped!  She couldn’t wait to go tell her sister - her best friend.   I can’t think of a better way to celebrate and honour Jazmine than doing something fun together, as a family.

After all, that’s what it’s all about - Family.  And nothing is more important than that.

Celebrating Our Special Sibs of D-Kids

Once again my beautiful seven year old daughter recognized Jenna’s symptoms of a low blood sugar, took the initiative to perform the check, then upon confirming her suspicion quickly reported her findings to me.

Those who follow me here or on Facebook will recall a time earlier this year when this very scenario played out once before.  I was so proud that I quickly shared the story online.  Jazmine was proud too, and rightfully so.  She was a hero that day and repeated that heroic act again yesterday.

And this isn’t the only heroic act worth celebrating, although it may be the most obvious one.  There are countless other times that I’ve become aware of Jazmine’s quiet patience and understanding when Jenna has, out of necessity, been in the spotlight for a prolonged period of time, perhaps due to persistent blood sugar problems.  Or maybe she’s been taking the brunt of Jenna’s hyperglycemia-induced foul mood and has had to show maturity and understanding in dealing with that.  In fact, Jazmine is a hero everyday just by being a loving, protective, big sister to Jenna.

So I got to thinking - shouldn’t there be a day when we, as a diabetes community collective, recognize and celebrate their awesomeness in its many various forms?  We all know that, out of necessity, our children with diabetes often require more attention to manage this disease.  But our non-diabetic kids are often expected to go above and beyond and because they are such great kids, that’s just what they do.

So another awesome D-Mom, Alexis from Justice’s Misbehaving Pancreas, and I got talking and we both agreed that our non-D kids deserve a day of recognition.  It could be celebrated in as many ways as there are D-families to celebrate it.  Maybe you make a favourite meal or dessert.  Perhaps it can be one big family fun day!

Or it might be as simple as telling your non-D kid, either with the spoken or written word, just how incredible you think he or she is.  Because, really, can you ever say stuff like that too much?  I don’t think so either.

So the date we decided on is November 28th.  However you decide to mark the occasion, we’d like to hear about it.  Perhaps you can share your ideas here or on Alexis’ blog in the comment section of our posts.  Or if you have a blog, grab the button and blog about your Special Sib of a D-Kid!

Let’s show our non-D kiddos that we know how awesome they are and we love them for it!

A World Diabetes Day Toast

It’s still dark out.

The furnace is droning on, working to take off the night’s chill.  Oatmeal bubbles and snaps as it simmers on the stove.  My oldest daughter is lounging in her bathrobe on a chair in the living room watching cartoons.  Jenna is still in bed, sleeping soundly.

I’m here tapping away on the keys of my laptop, being tantalized by the smell of coffee brewing, thinking about the bolus I gave Jenna almost two hours ago to correct the high blood sugar she was knee-deep in at 5am.  I wonder if she is going to wake up for breakfast before her blood sugar drops too low.  But I’m confident her blood sugar will indeed come down, thanks to that precious liquid - insulin.

And on this World Diabetes Day, I’m filled with heart-warming, tear-summoning gratitude for it’s discovery.  Without the tireless efforts of Dr.’s Banting and Best my little girl wouldn’t be here today along with countless other children -  children who were given the gift of life and allowed to grow up instead of becoming another tragic, heart-breaking statistic.

So, on this day I would like to raise a glass (or at this hour, a mug) to the good doctors, Banting and Best, and to all the scientists working to find a cure for the disease that was a death sentence before their discovery of insulin.

Happy World Diabetes Day.  May we one day soon be celebrating a cure.

Six Things I Want To Get Off My Chest

Today is D-Blog Day so I’m going to share my 6 things I want people to know about diabetes.

1. Neither I nor my daughter did anything to cause her to develop type 1 diabetes.  It didn’t occur because she ate too much candy or was overweight.  It wasn’t  because I over-indulged during my pregnancy.  Type 1 diabetes is an autoimmune disorder caused by the immune system mistaking a person’s insulin producing beta cells in the pancreas for a foreign invader.  The immune system destroys the beta cells leaving a person without the ability to produce insulin.
2. Without working beta cells a person either needs to inject insulin several times a day or infuse insulin via an insulin pump.  Without insulin a person will die a slow and miserable death.  Before Banting and Best made their miraculous discovery that is precisely what happened to people.  Their misery is documented in pictures.  I’ve seen the pictures.  It is most horrifying and deeply disturbing.
3. People with diabetes constantly need to monitor their blood sugar and count carbs.  They must always be conscious of their activity and hormone levels and their overall physical condition to dose accordingly with insulin.
4. Humans are poor substitutes for working beta cells and are constantly at risk of either overdosing or under dosing on insulin.  The immediate consequences can range from feeling unwell to seizures, unconsciousness, coma or death.  The long term consequences are kidney, heart and peripheral vascular disease, neuropathy and loss of vision to name just a few.
5. My daughter Jenna is a remarkable little girl with a zest for life and a sense of humour beyond her years.  She deserves to live a long, full life filled with love and understanding.  I want Jenna to live in a world full of compassionate, educated people who won’t judge her out of ignorance.  In fact, I want that for both my girls regarding life in general.  Understanding and compassion come from being educated.  If you don’t understand something about diabetes or have questions I will gladly educate you.  Just ask.
6. I too am guilty of being uninformed in the past regarding diabetes, even though I have a medical background.  I cringe every time I recall conducting physical assessments on diabetic patients and asking them if they were “well controlled”.  I’m surprised no one told me to go fly a kite, quite honestly.  Control of diabetes is fleeting and can change from moment to moment.  It is a constant battle with far too many variables to be a walk in the park.  It never ends.  If there is one thing I would tell health care professionals it’s to not judge a diabetic.  Don’t think that because you are a medical doctor or a nurse that you know all there is to know about this disease.  Odds are you don’t. This disease is harder than it looks to manage.  And even when you seem to be doing everything right it can still mess with you on so many levels.  And for goodness sake, don’t ask a type 1 diabetic if they are “well controlled”.  It’s just about the most ridiculous thing you could ask.